Ambulance Girls by Deborah Burrows

Author:Deborah Burrows
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ebury Publishing

CHAPTER TWENTY

Gently disengaging himself from my embrace, Jim stood up. His face was flushed and his eyes unfocused and there was no irony in his smile, but real regret. He took a deep, ragged breath. I made a soft, annoyed sound.

‘Lily, you fell asleep on your feet this morning. Your nerves are shot and you need a good night’s sleep, if that’s possible in this racket. And we both need time.’

‘Time?’

‘To work things out, work out what you want, where we should go with this. Especially with David . . .’

The local All Clear sounded and he smiled again.

‘Fate,’ he said. ‘Telling me to get out before my resistance is entirely swept away or you fall asleep. Or both.’

‘But—’

‘Stay there. I’ll see myself out.’

‘Will you come back tomorrow? It’s Sunday, are you free?’ I hated sounding so feeble.

‘Yes, of course, and yes I’m free. I’ll telephone you once I’m back at my flat, to let you know I’ve arrived in one piece.’

He turned to leave, but then he was in front of me again, leaning down to brush his lips across mine. As he straightened he murmured something in Russian. And he was gone.

I waited fifteen minutes and raced downstairs to the pay telephone in the foyer, standing guard over the machine, already longing to hear his voice again. After another long fifteen minutes the telephone rang.

‘I’m home and all’s well.’

‘Tell me something lovely.’

‘Your kisses are like the first soft fall of snow.’ His voice was dry, unsentimental. ‘Is that romantic enough?’

I laughed. ‘Brute. Is there no romance in you?’

‘I’m a barrister. I’ll kiss you again tomorrow and find a suitable metaphor then, but you sleep now.’

I hung up. ‘First fall of snow,’ I murmured, and laughed to myself as I climbed the stairs to the flat. Once I was inside I tidied up, unwilling to go to bed, wanting to remember the evening.

But what about Levy? I sat down on the couch with a thump. Surely Jim was right, and Levy was with his parents. Surely he was fine. And there was nothing I could do, not at this hour of night. I didn’t want to think of Levy, not at this moment. I would worry about Levy tomorrow.

I felt absurdly happy. Jim was entirely different to Denys, who had been my first serious lover. My only lover. He had been persuasive on the night before he left for Scapa Flow.

‘I may die up there. We’re getting married. Everybody is jumping into bed. There’s no point in waiting. Please, Lily. I need you so much. Don’t let me go away like this.’

Katherine had known the moment she saw me the following day.

‘It’s Russian roulette with your life, Lily, not to have taken the proper precautions,’ she had told me firmly.

‘It will be fine. I love him. We’re getting married.’

Three weeks later, Denys died. In my grief I forgot to count the weeks. One month, two months went by. I turned to Katherine, terrified I was facing an unwanted pregnancy. I had no money, I was far from home and unmarried.

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